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Home » Category » Bars, Pubs and Drunks

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» (1) The Ocotpus!
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender "give us two beers over here!" The bartender walks over and see's the octopus and he says, "Didn't you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!" ...
By: 14-Mar-2004 Added On : 2laugh Team Viewed : 5742 times
» (2) THOSE NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY PETS!
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another". The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another". As the bartender pou ...
By: 11-Mar-2004 Added On : Abe L. Viewed : 4900 times
» (3) A talking clock
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. When they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed. "What's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of the guests asked. "It's not ...
By: 05-Dec-2004 Added On : Ann Green Eyes Viewed : 4130 times
» (4) Bar Date
He'd been up in New York recently for the Cowboys - New York game. He was having a drink in a bar when an attractive woman sat down next to him. "Hello, honey," he said. "I'm Oliver from down around" "Don't tell me," she smiled, laying a hand on his ...
By: 09-Dec-2004 Added On : Anny Viewed : 2949 times
» (5) A Chick with Long Legs
A man walks into a restaurant with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man says,"I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says ...
By: 16-Dec-2004 Added On : jay Viewed : 5891 times
» (6) 3 Please
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until ...
By: 17-Dec-2004 Added On : jay Viewed : 3090 times
» (7) pee joke
A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only patron in the bar when he walked in. He talks to him for about 5 minutes then moves to the other end of the bar. The bar owner walks up to him and asks if h ...
By: 18-Dec-2004 Added On : jay Viewed : 21428 times
» (8) What pissed me off?
Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !" "Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripp ...
By: 18-Dec-2004 Added On : jay Viewed : 4326 times
» (9) No Dogs Allowed
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the fi ...
By: 23-Dec-2004 Added On : jayt Viewed : 2779 times
» (10) robot bartender
A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about quantum physics, str ...
By: 29-Sep-2005 Added On : anonymous Viewed : 5611 times

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