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Nursery Rhymes Revised:
NSFWMary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides,
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
that was split right up the front,
...but she didn't wear that one very often.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her,
but Little Boy Blue and his horn.

Simple Simon met a pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
"What have you got there?"
Said the pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dickhead."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Said, "F*ck him, he's only an egg."

Mary had a little lamb.
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its ass
and turned its wool to nylon

Georgie Porgy pudding 'n pie,
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
he kissed them too, 'cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
and now, there's little Frankie.

  was added by William Braba 3 years, 4018 days ago and was read 3,479 times

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