Joke - In The Beginning
Mantisoft - Creating websites
  • Back Home
  • New Jokes
  • Top Rated
  • The Index!
  • Newest Media
  • iTube - Hot Videos
  • Submit A Joke
 
Weekly Column by Jason Love

A collection of Standup video shows Cool and Funny T-Shirts This site is part of the Umbrella Duck Network! Our Experts will answer any Question! Try Us!

7 out of 299 answered

 
Charts:

 Best Jokes
 Most Popular
 20 Best Writers
 Best Videos
 Best Flash
 Top Rated Comics

Games:

 Game Portal!

Comics :

 SnapshotsDaily
 Frenetic Wander...Daily
 New Comics

Weekly Columns:

 SoItGoes - Jason Love

Important Links:

 Our Poll Archive
 The Billy-Bob Show
 Forums
 Newest Videos
 Newest Flash Files
 Free Wallpapers
 Happy Tree Friends

Featured:

 UmbrellaDuck.net
 Linkook - Shorter URL's
 Biblical Hebrew Online
 Funny videos
 Learn Hebrew Phrase
 Karma Game

The BB Daily Show
click for the BillyBob daily show.



Categories :

 Blond
 All about sex
 Nature and Pets
 Bars, Pubs and Drunks
 Sports
 Real Life Laws
 Secret Diary
 Real Life Stories
 Special Lists
 Light Bulbs
 Doctors
 Wild-wild West
 Country and Farms
 FAQ and Riddles
 Couples and Family
 Biblical Times
 At Work
 Love!
 Computers
 Insults
 Sick Jokes
 On the Road / In the Air
 Fairy Tales and Angles
 Religion - Christianity
 Religion - Judaism
  All Categories

In The Beginning
DoctorsIn the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created ice cream and doughnuts.
And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said "Yes!" and Woman said, "I'll have another with sprinkles." And lo they gained 10
pounds.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented crumbled Bleu Cheese dressing and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetable and olive oil in which to lightly saute the wholesome vegetables."

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut shrimp, chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter and chocolate cheesecake for dessert. And
Man's glucose levels spiked through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels from his comfy Lazyboys.

And man and woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God brought forth lean meat so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created the 99-cent double cheeseburger, and said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size 'em!" And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

  was added by jay 3 years, 3260 days ago and was read 4,808 times

Please Rate:
Ranked 2.94 out of 5 smilies

Share with Others


More jokes in Doctors
Random Joke
A lady approaches her priest and tells him "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have...
Random Joke
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?

A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!...
IT's all GEEKZ to me
By Chaz Wood
IT‘s all GEEKZ to me - by Chaz Wood
”Let Battle Commence“

Stan 'N' Isaac
By Jeff Swenson
Stan n Isaac - by Jeff Swenson
”Sensitive Bones“

bigger is better
”fortune cookie“


funny comic strip in print
First Cynic Comic Strip
collection now in print.
Buy it now for
below retail.

Statistics
Joke Writers : 6641
Surfer Comments : 4627
Forum Messages : 20
Total Jokes : 15351
Waiting Jokes : 13867

 
Web
2Laugh.com



Add to Google

Add to Netvibes

Bookmark and Share

New Videos
iPad Air 2 Bend Test
Play Video

was viewed 7581 times
(1092 days ago)

Videos
Play Video

was viewed 11489 times
(1161 days ago)

Biggest Snakes in the World! SnakeBytesTV
Play Video

was viewed 12327 times
(1270 days ago)

Mission: Impurrrsible
Play Video

was viewed 9034 times
(1281 days ago)


Videos
Play Video

was viewed 6212 times
(1317 days ago)

Kitten Refuses to Leave Warm Bath!
Play Video

was viewed 10516 times
(1602 days ago)

Star Trek TNG Season 3 Gag Reel
Play Video

was viewed 14317 times
(1631 days ago)

Lily loves her treat
Play Video

was viewed 6858 times
(1744 days ago)

Messi 91 GOALS in 2012
Play Video

was viewed 14304 times
(1760 days ago)




Copyright © 2004-2012 2Laugh.com - Humor and Jokes Portal. All Rights Reserved. Powered by Mantisoft.com | contact us | advertise with us | RSS